Sometimes I see things and try to take decent shots of them because I’ll think oh! if we ever have kids this would be awesome in their nursery! Like this Icelandic giraffe who is obviously on marijuana (3D glasses) and who wants to chew gum (a chokeable) and kick ass (oh perfect, cursing and violence). It’ll look totally natural next to an angelic sleeping child.

This is right on par with my other amazing idea for our hypothetical future family, which is to create a life-long holiday card theme of “Crime Scene Christmas.” Just year after year of different crimes, and lots of caution tape, finger print dust, chalk outlines, and probably a visit from child protective services.

The even bigger problem here is that Rob is no better. If he isn’t contributing to the various and sundry ways we can ensure the parents of our potential kids’ peers will hate us, he’s supporting my efforts. When I told him I was planning to post about Crime Scene Christmas his response was “Yessssssssssssssssssssss,” and then told me that our friend went hunting for nutria recently.

At least our fictional kids will be exposed to regional cuisine.