Really going for it with these headlines, Cat Fancy.

Thanks to evil genius Lauren and her pranks, I’ve been receiving Cat Fancy at my place of work. It’s mortifying, but I now know the golden rule of sailing with cats: teach them how to swim in a bathtub, but also make sure they don’t fall overboard, but if they do make sure they have a thumb drive in a ziploc attached to their collar in case they manage to not drown and get picked up by cat-friendly pirates or the coast guard who can pull your contact info from the drive to get your pet back to you.

Omg. Journalism.